hello again

People keep asking me what my plans are. My plan reaches almost to tomorrow, but not quite because I don't really feel like doing the work that people will want done for tomorrow.

So I'm just going to make a series of posts of things I want out of life; hopefully in the process setting up a life path that I can settle into. The first is about my ideal workspace.

I want a really hot secretary.

It's not a fetish, I'm not a pervert. I don't want one so I can fool around with her or be innapropriate in any way. Being hot is not the only requirement either, she'd also have to be highly capable, charming, modest, demure, and professional. It would also be beneficial if she had my sense of humour, but only in a receptive sense. If she's too funny I might fall for her and that ruins the whole thing. So cleverness is more important then original humour.

Hotness is essential though. On my ruthless scale of 1 to 10 she'd have to be at least a high eight, but preferably a nine. And I'm referring to natural hotness, not from a revealing wardrobe. A nine would be so attractive in a long pencil skirt and a sweater that anyone who sits in my reception room is instantly put off ease while waiting to see me.

Some people might read this and instantly think less of me. Even more of you will think less of me when I say that if she's in a serious relationship it ruins it somewhat.

You all want hot single secretaries in your preferred genders who you never become romantically involved with too, so don't pretend to be all offended.

I want nice large-ish office with a heavy wood door that reception area for my attractive receptionist. I want a solid wood desk in my office, behind which is a wooden desk chair. I want bookshelves filled with classics, and a nice carpet. There has to have a single large window behind the desk split into small panes. The only other furniture in the room are two wooden chair with cushioned seats on them for clients. I also want a dartboard on a gap on the right wall between the bookshelves. The only other requirement is a chess board that sits on a small table on the opposite [left] side of the room. [There can also be a single large portrait hanging on the left wall to the front left of my desk. The subject should never be anyone in particular and should change every six months.]

The dartboard is just for casual personal enjoyment and when I'm having an informal meeting. Also every once and a while on a slow afternoon I want to challenge my excessively hot secretary to a game of darts. Darts is the best office game. A full sized pool table or some contraption that allows you to practice your short game in golf are both repugnantly oscentatious.

The chessboard is for the cleaning man. The cleaning man, has to be old, and comes and goes before I'm in the office every day. He vacuums and dusts when needs be, but mostly just empties my trash bin every day. Also he makes a move on the chessboard every morning before I come in. And I have to make the responding move sometime during the day. I want him to always beat me no matter how much time I spend thinking about it.

The chess master janitor, the expensive and selectively furnished office and the spectacularly hot secretary are all I want out of having a career. I want nothing more, and yet nothing less.

I do not know how I'm going to get this office, this secretary, or this cleaning man. I'm working on it.