updating sporatically

15.2.09

hello again

It has been about two months since i have had a real non-how-about-I-just-stick-in-a-webcomic-post, so I figured I ought to stick in a few sentences in here this evening.

I've grown to be alright with school to a certain extent, I can get through work without any real hassles. Right now the only real problem I have is setting goals for myself. It's not that I can't work towards a goal, I just can't seem to find a goal that's viable or interesting enough to suit me right now. I keep telling myself that I'm going to write a novel, but I've decided to work on that off and on until summer.

I really ought to be throwing myself into my schoolwork, but I find my classes a tad boring sometimes. It's not that the subjects aren't interesting, it's just that I don't like the way they're being taught. I can't say it's doing wonders for my study habits; I don't bring a notebook book to class, and my readings are done in the hour before class, if at all.

I doubt I'm going to take psych next year. I like the idea of psychology, but I suppose I want to just sit around and access cognitive awareness by thinking and talking and using my gut. It's not that I don't think that the science of it can be interesting, but what I'm being taught is so shallow in some ways, and I can't shake the feeling that in the next decade or so all of todays psychology will just have turned out to be useless.

English I like to an extent, but it seems every time I write an essay it gets a little worse. It's as if I only had a certain amount of formal essays in me when I was born and I've run dry. Formal essays just strike me more and more as formulaic though, and I don't have the patience anymore to breath the life into them any more. I'm probably just lazy.

I have no real complaints about philosophy, there's no much to know and argue that just requires you to be bright. Which is all I am. I'm forget facts easily, I'm not well read, or particularly knowledgeable. Though at times modern standards have dropped to make me seem a great deal more knowledgeable than I am, in the larger scheme of things I'm tremendously ignorant.

Philosophy doesn't command you to accept anything, but encourages you to study everything.

The only problem is that philosophizing isn't a career. There's absolutely no money to be made out of it. None.

I can use it for other things: for writing books, for going into politics, for just general insight into virtually any field, but I can't expect it to be an end unto itself.

There's a lot more to this train of thought, but I've gone on long enough and it's late and I haven't been getting enough sleep lately.